I maintained diaries very religiously from my high school till my graduation (or was it post graduation – I am too embarrassed to admit!!). They were safely locked up in my room in a draw. Life went on and I got married, I very conveniently ‘lost’ the key to the draw. Mom was curious about them. She wanted to know what went on in my life – those years, where I was a wicked teenager – erratic, eccentric, funny, weird all at the same time. But then mercifully she did not have the spare key. After couple of years, dad announced that they were shifting – that was the biggest shock of my life… moving somewhere close by to my house and hence giving the house – where I was born brought up and held some many memories – for rent. Moving on is so tough but inevitable. But then he also added very nicely that he was planning to retain the first floor (where my sis and my rooms were). So a sigh of relief – the diaries continued in their hiding place. Another 3-4 years and another big announcement from dad – that he wanted to demolish the old house. Now I was in trouble. I had to take a decision about those diaries – had to face them and take on call on what to do. It was tough. I surely wanted to preserve them – but then those were my teenage days (and post teenage also!!). I vaguely remembered that all the details of the day went into the diaries – with a lot of passion (and exaggerations, spices added). It was as if I had documented my life – the good, the bad and the ugly. Alarm bells started ringing big time.
So finally set aside half a day to look at them. Salvaged them by breaking open the draw and started reading one by one – not all pages – just in random - pick a date and have a peek. Oh man, I had half day of pure fun and bliss. It was a total stress buster. Things like ‘Stand up on the bench’ (8th std, first day, first session, chemistry class) for giggling, ‘Get out of the class’ (11th std, biology class) for the same reason – were written about like triumphs. Close friend getting typhoid resulting in unending depression. Boy friend break up blues – the weep stories went on for days. Invariably wrote ‘have done excellent / very well’ during exam days and again wrote ‘horrible marks / how could I get this’ during results –unwavering pattern for all tests and exams – all years. Not that I was very bad at studies, but I was always a last bencher – and scored just below the top 5 of the class. Sibling rivalries (with my sis) are something that Ekta Kapoor can definitely look into – she can get some new and hilarious ideas. Things like her room was bigger, she had more dresses, I had to mostly wear hand-me-downs bothered me so much – like question of life and death. Defeating my sis in the school level debate competition – was written in BOLD and highlighted with color sketch pens – hah!! Getting a pimple was nothing short of a catastrophe and invited words like ‘why me’? Life was so damn simple – yet I made it sound so damn complicated. My cribbings knew no bounds – from parents being partial to sis, to getting into trouble with teachers at school to ragging the guys in the class to bunking classes and seeing movies to more mature(??) subjects like – wondering why there were only 4 girls in a class of 45 in MBA? Aamir khan found a special place and mention (QSQT had just released) and also, Michael Jackson, George Michael, Andre Agassi – the list goes on. Oh yes it included Madonna, Steffi graf and Martina as well – but not that much in detail – you got the drift right? Family vacations to north India, Himalayas, east India and all other places – is worth a read anyday.
Now, I truly wish I had continued the habit – would’ve given so much insight into me and my thoughts – and how they changed over the years. Its great to relive those lovely years and look back with some pride and satisfaction.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Chair
“Neglect & Regret are more than just rhyming words … you neglect only to regret …” – Padmaja**.
Happened to me just this week. Neglected and neglected and regretting it at leisure. There I was sending a mail to my boss asking for half day off for the next day – and hoping against hope that it will not be approved – but then no reply means deemed accepted. Next day, geared myself for the inevitable and walked at a slow pace just to delay it some more. Went to the ATM, its an expensive affair you see – but more to kill time than anything else. Well, finally I found myself in front of the building. Willed myself to go inside – but actually heart of hearts I wanted to run away somewhere. Dot on the time – heard my name and went in. Very cordially invited inside as if I am going for a party and courteously asked to take the chair. The first thing that crossed my mind as I sat there still looking for an escape route was the shape of the chair itself. Why is it designed like a swimming pool / beach lounge chair? Do they want us to think that we are actually in a very different place? Sitting on the chair with myriad thoughts about all the beaches, the light was suddenly switched on my face – bringing me back to reality on the actual chair that I was sitting on - the Dentist’s Chair.
The first question was about breakfast, make me wonder if and when I would have my next good meal. Then the mandatory x-ray – a rocket launcher type was thrust on my cheek with some film inside the mouth – oh how horrible, some whirring sound and a welcome announcement that its done – Oh just the x-ray nothing else. Then the procedure began full fledge. First the anesthesia – my mouth felt as if I just had a stroke – gosh – it felt twisted and bloated. I have a big mouth is a given but to keep it open for one and half hours is no joke – believe me. There were 2 of them – the docs I mean - talking to each other on everything under the sun including things about Yeddy and Reddy (Yediyurappa and YSR – CMs of Ktaka and Hyd respectively). The way they were talking made me wonder how Yeddy and Reddy could’ve been their childhood friends. They veered to other not-so-pleasant topics as well – the mishaps of the docs on the OT – oh my god, I just closed my eyes. Not only because of the bright harsh light but also because I wanted to imagine myself in a far off nice place. I did not contribute to any of the conversation as there was no place for the classic foot in the mouth – no place in the mouth you see – it was filled with couple of instruments and hands. Funny noises, even funnier weapons – who says weapons of mass destruction can be found in Iraq – me says, they can be found in every dentist’s clinic. Had heard that RCT (root canal treatment) takes some time – but such a long time – me was sitting there and thinking what the doc was doing. Scrapping the canal or digging it right through to the brain?
After quite a while – one hour and thirty minutes to be precise – the doc declared that mine was a very complicated case with 3 canals in the same tooth. What the ….? Till now, I was blissfully happy that I am a very normal person – this notion was shattered to pieces by the doc’s declaration. Atleast dentally I don’t seem to be normal – otherwise – really dunno!!! At the end of it, the doc thanked me – can you believe – he thanked me. And me had a BIG question – was it because he got a unique first time experience through my case or was it because I shut up inspite of my mouth being wide open?
** Padmaja is one of my colleagues
Happened to me just this week. Neglected and neglected and regretting it at leisure. There I was sending a mail to my boss asking for half day off for the next day – and hoping against hope that it will not be approved – but then no reply means deemed accepted. Next day, geared myself for the inevitable and walked at a slow pace just to delay it some more. Went to the ATM, its an expensive affair you see – but more to kill time than anything else. Well, finally I found myself in front of the building. Willed myself to go inside – but actually heart of hearts I wanted to run away somewhere. Dot on the time – heard my name and went in. Very cordially invited inside as if I am going for a party and courteously asked to take the chair. The first thing that crossed my mind as I sat there still looking for an escape route was the shape of the chair itself. Why is it designed like a swimming pool / beach lounge chair? Do they want us to think that we are actually in a very different place? Sitting on the chair with myriad thoughts about all the beaches, the light was suddenly switched on my face – bringing me back to reality on the actual chair that I was sitting on - the Dentist’s Chair.
The first question was about breakfast, make me wonder if and when I would have my next good meal. Then the mandatory x-ray – a rocket launcher type was thrust on my cheek with some film inside the mouth – oh how horrible, some whirring sound and a welcome announcement that its done – Oh just the x-ray nothing else. Then the procedure began full fledge. First the anesthesia – my mouth felt as if I just had a stroke – gosh – it felt twisted and bloated. I have a big mouth is a given but to keep it open for one and half hours is no joke – believe me. There were 2 of them – the docs I mean - talking to each other on everything under the sun including things about Yeddy and Reddy (Yediyurappa and YSR – CMs of Ktaka and Hyd respectively). The way they were talking made me wonder how Yeddy and Reddy could’ve been their childhood friends. They veered to other not-so-pleasant topics as well – the mishaps of the docs on the OT – oh my god, I just closed my eyes. Not only because of the bright harsh light but also because I wanted to imagine myself in a far off nice place. I did not contribute to any of the conversation as there was no place for the classic foot in the mouth – no place in the mouth you see – it was filled with couple of instruments and hands. Funny noises, even funnier weapons – who says weapons of mass destruction can be found in Iraq – me says, they can be found in every dentist’s clinic. Had heard that RCT (root canal treatment) takes some time – but such a long time – me was sitting there and thinking what the doc was doing. Scrapping the canal or digging it right through to the brain?
After quite a while – one hour and thirty minutes to be precise – the doc declared that mine was a very complicated case with 3 canals in the same tooth. What the ….? Till now, I was blissfully happy that I am a very normal person – this notion was shattered to pieces by the doc’s declaration. Atleast dentally I don’t seem to be normal – otherwise – really dunno!!! At the end of it, the doc thanked me – can you believe – he thanked me. And me had a BIG question – was it because he got a unique first time experience through my case or was it because I shut up inspite of my mouth being wide open?
** Padmaja is one of my colleagues
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
There is always a first time…
.. even to visit a village. My first time was when I got married and had to accompany my new extended family to get the blessings of the family deity. The only pre-condition was that I had to adhere to the dress code very strictly at all times – that did not sound bad though. So after a 5 hour journey most of which we breezed through on the high way, and some of it on the kaccha roads, reached the destination in one piece. The entire family in the village had turned up to welcome the new one into its folds.
The house itself which is located very close to the village pond (huge one) has scenic surroundings. When I saw the house and went inside, my reaction turned from ‘awesome’ to non-chalant acceptance to pleasant surprise to shocked disbelief. The outside of the house has an open verandah, where one can sit and relax, leads into a big hall with openings to many rooms leads to a big kitchen with an even bigger attic (overlooking the kitchen – its beautiful) leads to back yard where the rest rooms were located at the very far end and hence the shocked disbelief – little did I realize at that time that it was just the first of the series….After lunch and chit-chat, went for a long walk along the tank-bund during the sunset. It was a great stress buster. You see I was under tremendous pressure – this being my first visit.
With electricity only for 5-6 hours in a day, the evening and night was spent is just talking. The very interesting story of how some treasure is supposed to lie underneath this very house and hence so many snakes (what???!!!) keep visiting the interiors of this house was narrated with flourish and also ensured that sleep totally eluded me that night – almost dreaming that I would wake up to see some snake nearby!! Finally the bright sunlight came as a welcome scene. Seeing only the local language newspaper, I gave up after 5 minutes of struggle, shifted to the only section I could understand – Suduko and promptly finished it. Morning was the visit the village temple and then to the fields – acres and acres of mangoes and coconut trees. Had about 5 tender coconuts at one-go – no exaggerations - felt as if my bladder would burst!! And then went off to explore far end where the water had flooded from the tank. Being adventurous, I went deep into the water and wanted to go on the other side of the road (the water had breached the thin wall, flooded the road and then entered the field). Almost thigh deep into that water, I got the next big shock of the trip. I small water snake, green colour (it is eco-friendly I suppose), reared its head, saw me and went under water immediately. I still wonder which one of us got more scared!! I was just rooted to the spot with wide eyes and no sound emanating, literally speechless. Gathering all my wits, I gingerly made my way back to the fields. Believe me every small plant, stick, anything at all – felt like a snake!! Couple of hours after that experience – was just a blur. Evening was the main thing –the deity worship. The deity came into the head priest after a lot of cajoling from the elders. Since this topic is very controversial, I will restrain from getting into the details. Let’s just say that the deity blessed me and I felt, hmmmmmm, “blessed”.
Thoroughly enjoyed my stay there – with multiple trips to the attic, playing in the water (this was before the snake episode), savoring the organically grown mangoes, plucking flowers in the huge garden, snuggling the cats (3 kittens and their mom) and generally getting the feel of the village life. Now this has become a ritual – atleast 2 trips in a year – for me, it’s a much better and healthier option to expensive resorts and clubs.
The house itself which is located very close to the village pond (huge one) has scenic surroundings. When I saw the house and went inside, my reaction turned from ‘awesome’ to non-chalant acceptance to pleasant surprise to shocked disbelief. The outside of the house has an open verandah, where one can sit and relax, leads into a big hall with openings to many rooms leads to a big kitchen with an even bigger attic (overlooking the kitchen – its beautiful) leads to back yard where the rest rooms were located at the very far end and hence the shocked disbelief – little did I realize at that time that it was just the first of the series….After lunch and chit-chat, went for a long walk along the tank-bund during the sunset. It was a great stress buster. You see I was under tremendous pressure – this being my first visit.
With electricity only for 5-6 hours in a day, the evening and night was spent is just talking. The very interesting story of how some treasure is supposed to lie underneath this very house and hence so many snakes (what???!!!) keep visiting the interiors of this house was narrated with flourish and also ensured that sleep totally eluded me that night – almost dreaming that I would wake up to see some snake nearby!! Finally the bright sunlight came as a welcome scene. Seeing only the local language newspaper, I gave up after 5 minutes of struggle, shifted to the only section I could understand – Suduko and promptly finished it. Morning was the visit the village temple and then to the fields – acres and acres of mangoes and coconut trees. Had about 5 tender coconuts at one-go – no exaggerations - felt as if my bladder would burst!! And then went off to explore far end where the water had flooded from the tank. Being adventurous, I went deep into the water and wanted to go on the other side of the road (the water had breached the thin wall, flooded the road and then entered the field). Almost thigh deep into that water, I got the next big shock of the trip. I small water snake, green colour (it is eco-friendly I suppose), reared its head, saw me and went under water immediately. I still wonder which one of us got more scared!! I was just rooted to the spot with wide eyes and no sound emanating, literally speechless. Gathering all my wits, I gingerly made my way back to the fields. Believe me every small plant, stick, anything at all – felt like a snake!! Couple of hours after that experience – was just a blur. Evening was the main thing –the deity worship. The deity came into the head priest after a lot of cajoling from the elders. Since this topic is very controversial, I will restrain from getting into the details. Let’s just say that the deity blessed me and I felt, hmmmmmm, “blessed”.
Thoroughly enjoyed my stay there – with multiple trips to the attic, playing in the water (this was before the snake episode), savoring the organically grown mangoes, plucking flowers in the huge garden, snuggling the cats (3 kittens and their mom) and generally getting the feel of the village life. Now this has become a ritual – atleast 2 trips in a year – for me, it’s a much better and healthier option to expensive resorts and clubs.
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