Living a Nightmare

Prologue: Day 8 of our tour. Had completed Katra, Jalandar and couple of other places. Everything was going as per the itinerary – no delays whatsoever. People generally happy and looking forward to another 12 days of vacation.

Date - July 31st, 2000
Time – 7.30 pm
Place – Vaishno Devi base
We had just finished the Vaishno Devi darshan. All of us were tired from the trek and were just sitting and chatting and generally relaxing. We were about 35 in our bus. Retired to our rooms – eagerly waiting for the next day – we were quite excited about our next and main destination – Amarnath cave. Most of us had finished our mandatory call to our homes – telling them very clearly not to expect our calls for another 5 – 6 days.

Date – August 1st, 2000
Time – 5.30 am
Place – Enroute to MAM stadium, Jammu
We had left the hotel later than planned, thanks to some of the co-passengers who took their own sweet time to pack up and get going. Precious moments lost – and all of us were sitting on the edge of our seats keeping our fingers crossed that we would not miss the army convoy. You see every morning during the Amarnath yatra time, all the pilgrim vehicles are escorted by the army from the MAM stadium to the base camp at pahalgam. We, at any cost HAD to make it to the stadium before 6. None of us were in any mood for delay – the reason was simple. If we miss the convoy, we would’ve been forced to stay at Jammu for an extra day to catch the next morning convoy. This inevitably would’ve resulted in skipping the rest of the places!!

Time - 6.30 am
Place – MAM stadium, Jammu
Darn it – we missed. We saw the convoy leaving right in front of our eyes. Oh no, we could not join the endless stretch of vehicles just like that. A mandatory security check of people, bags and vehicle had to be done – which would take atleast half hour. Gone, missed, and we rued it terribly. But no blame games though. You see 90% of our co-passengers were senior citizens. And the rest were not so senior, but fell into the category of ‘elderly’. Me and hubby were the youngest in the group – just one year into our marriage. This was what we had planned for almost 6 months – getting 20 days off for both of us – was indeed a herculean task.
So stuck in Jammu with nothing to do. As the day progressed, other vehicles and tourists joined us. The stadium was huge yes, but it was chillingly cold – august in jammu is surely not like august in Bangalore.

Time – 5.30 pm
The first signs of trouble. Firing right outside the stadium. We were a group of 6 returning back from a temple, went inside and heard the shots. First time I was seeing all these at close range. Rattled me thoroughly. 2 police men dead and 1 terrorist dead – within matter of 5 minutes. It was not just the weather which made a chill go through my spine to the very core of my being. We were left wondering – what next?

Time – 7.30 pm
All tourists at the center – all set to retire for the night. A police jeep with a loudspeaker comes along – with announcement – we had to hear it multiple times just to understand what they were talking about. Landslides and bad weather. So no convoy the next day. Very natural and keeps happening in the valley – nothing surprising. Super!! – Another day delay is the last thing we wanted.
The next thing we know – all people huddled in front of the single TV setup – start gaping at the screen aghast – all trying to talk the same time.
Scene on TV: NDTV news channel – showing pictures of massacred bodies strewn all over
The news: 30 Amarnath yatris massacred in cold blood in Pahalgam
All hell broke loose. So the crap about the weather etc was just that – CRAP. The real reason – terrorists attack on pilgrims – unheard of till then.
No, we had not called home since morning – you see we had told them no calls for another 5 days anyway. As the reality began to dawn on us – we suddenly realized the catastrophe this news must’ve created back home. According to the plan, we were supposed to be at pahalgam. All of us just rushed to the 3 phones available. No network. All lines were jammed. Long queues. Everyone anxious to tell everyone else that we were alive. We were lucky – very lucky to have missed the convoy that day. Finally got through after 3 hours, mom in tears – cos dad was with us and she was alone at home. Her relief knew no bounds when she heard my voice.
A stunned silence enveloped the whole stadium.
A very very uncomfortable night, very cold, sleeping on the street just outside the inner premises. The inner premises of the stadium itself was not open to us.

Date: August 2nd, 2000
Another day in paradise – No way. More tourists started pouring into the stadium. The way it is usually planned by all tours is that – get to the stadium and catch the next day convoy. But since there was not outflow, the inmates of the stadium kept increasing. Food was scarce. All of us were asked to ration. The time was spent with some tense conversations, glued to the TV sets – for some information. No, at that time, there was no 24 hours news channel. Identified a kannada speaking police guy – who fed us the latest information. 105 people killed in the valley. But it was the first time the pilgrims were attacked and shot at. Shock and condemnation of the act – what more can we expect. But no news about the people like us waiting for our turn – God knows for what!! Some of the pilgrims abandoned their plans and left. The government was good enough to open up the stadium itself to us. That just meant, we could sleep on the steps instead of the street. But the open sky, stars gazing, horribly cold weather continued.

Date: August 3rd, 2000
Same status continued. The makeshift bathrooms and toilets were stinking to high heavens. Conditions became pathetic as the day went by. Inflow reduced drastically and the exodus increased. People gave up and left. The yatra was still on hold. News: The army was combing the area and searching for the infiltrators. Hubby and myself were asked to decide whether to stay put or turn back. We decided to stay put. Wait for another day – hoping that the yatra will be resumed. But withstanding the pressure from back home to come back was humungous. Amarnath was the first time for me – and I was determined to do the trek. Terrorists or no terrorists. Another night with the sky as shelter and mosquitoes as company.

Date: August 4th, 2000
God – Tussi great ho!! We were told very very early in the morning that the yatra would resume. Wow – our joy knew no bounds – but there was always this nagging fear at the back of our minds. What happens if… what next.. what if our worst fears come true? We were the first batch after the massacre – the army personnel checking asked me ‘Aapo darr nahin lagta m’aam?’ DARR? I thought that was what they were for – to alienate our darr… but no, by asking such questions, they just compounded my fears. But anyway, we went ahead – 1 army truck, 1 army jeep, followed by 3 vehicles, another army jeep and thus it continued. A huge line of vehicles. No stopping anywhere for anything. No emergency stops. Army folks standing throughout the dreaded Ananthnag route – one person every 5 steps. Happily waving at us – this is a day-in day-out routine for them. Reaching Pahalgam – the first thing that hit us was the normalcy there. Nothing was seen out of place – everything was ‘business as usual’.

Epilogue: The trek proceeded as planned. No negative forces. No looking back. No regrets. We successfully completed the amazing trek in 5 days. We had to cut out the other places which we had planned for though. Reached back home in one piece. The Half hour – which saved our lives will be cherished through my life.